4 years

Just noticed that this month I completed 4 years of blogging.

Cool.

Hello Daddy

How you grow old and learn about being a parent.

How you grow old and learn the pangs of distance.

How you grow old and learn something new from old memories.

When I used to study in Pune, there was no phone in my hostel (and this is before the advent of the mobile era, yes kids, there was a time like this and yes yes, i am that old) I used to call up home once a week. And it was really expensive, meaning I would try to keep the call as short as possible and would focus on absolute necessary and mandatory (read, send me more money). The conversation was dictated by speed of the bill meter, it would start with a nice jog, would catch some speed and by the second minute i would be speaking faster than i could think, with words tumbling over each other. By end of second minute I would be looking desperately at the meter running faster than Carl Lewis, and would quickly say bye.

At this point Dad would say bye and then add ekkkk ghal das Raman, followed with a long pause. I would be going frenetic, Daddy, ke? pucho?

And he would start again… Raman…… uh, hmmmmmmmm…. pause….

I: Daddy what?

Dad: “Kuch khas nahin……….

I: Yes

Dad: Tere padhayi theek chal rahi hai?

I: hanji, hanji, ok bye

Dad: Ok bye, ek minute

I: Hanji

Dad: Acha (pause)

I: Daddy Daddy,

Dad: Acha, paise tah hor nahin chahede

I: Nahin Daddy, ok bye

Dad: Okkkkkk …. pause….. bye

I: Pere pona

Dad: khush raho

You know there was a time, I used to find this conversation really funny and I would tell everyone this story with great mirth and humor.

Today I don’t find it funny.

Today I realize the value of that conversation.

Today I know, the desire to hear the voice of your child and the pain of distance.

I call up home everyday to talk to Avni even when I meet her in the evening. And I used to go home only twice a year.

I still cherish those conversations but now I understand them better.

Compliments

Compliments are the most difficult things to deal with, specially if you are not used to such ego boosting words. Compliments can be about many things, looks, dress sense, sense of humor, these are easy to react to (atleast for most people) but you are on slightly tricky terrain when it comes to ideas, specially ideas in written format. Now let me give you the context, there are professional writers, like authors, copy-writers, screenplayists, song-writers etc, now their skill is acknowledged and generally accepted as experts in this domain and anyone else who writes should be judged against these accepted benchmarks. Then there are others, say people like me, no authority or even close to the experts, but who write for the joy of writing. Obviously, just because you are not the best of writer doesn’t mean you cannot have good ideas, ideas in that sense are far more democratic than the acquired skill of putting them in a structured and adorning them with decorative prose. But with this comes the difficult part, someone comes and says I like your writing. What do they exactly mean?

Do they like the way you write?

Or they like the things you write about?

Or they like the ideas the way has been written?

Or does the writing makes them like the ideas?

Truth is when you publish your writing you are open to ridicule. I personally believe that writers like me (and I use the term writer with a lots of liberty) would benefit far more if ridicule is what people would give. Rarely you will find someone who writes who also doesn’t read voraciously, so in that sense such aspiring writers or pretending writers are exposed to quality writing and are more than conscious of their own limitations. I have written in the past that I write so that I can improve my own proficiency of putting across my ideas in a lucid and structured manner but that means that I am aware that I do not have the range of words to express them in a manner that makes them powerful.

So whosoever you are, I am thankful that you have taken the time to read what I have written and also spend your time in giving feedback, I would like you to be little more harsher and stringent in your judgement next time you give me your inputs.

Ideas end of the day are nothing without the words that form them.