keep walking, keep talking

12 Oct

Most couples after years of relationship and if they do at all talk after so many years, generally end up talking about the days gone past. And the biggest regret that they have is that they don’t talk as much as they used to at one point of time.

It really is true, there are very few couples who stay connected and are able to maintain the enthusiasm in their relationship after the first initial years. And the amazing thing is that’s how they had connected, time spent talking, conversing about this, that, here, there, about anything, about everything. And then suddenly the well dries up and the best of them, couples made in heaven turn out to be like everyone else, drab, ordinary earthly couples moving around each other, passing each day like strangers. Except some who stay connected for life.

As usual, allow me to propose a theory on why this happens and how the magic can be sustained for life (man this sounded like those self-improvement books, kindly don’t get bored and plod on or indulge me for some more time).

Any two people when they connect like each other at a fundamental level and each conversation, every second spent together weakens or strengthens that belief . What happens in the beginning is that everyone has a tested and proven conversation and like a magician you can put your hand in the hat and the bunny comes out. Life has offered everyone moments which can be recounted and regaled. These two connected individuals from their two divergent paths share their adventures, stories, experiences, hair-raising tales, roll on the ground anecdotes as they start walking on a convergent path. So the initial part of the common journey is spent getting to know each other but after some time sometimes in days, sometimes in months and for some after some years the existing conversations come to end and to an end these always come.

What happens after this decides a common destiny, a shared adventure or two strangers under a common roof. Remember these two love each other but what is lost is the conversation, the magic. This loss happens because they stop creating conversation, at some stage transition has to be made from narrating to creating.

Realize as couples the path is now common, the strangers you meet on the way should not be the reason for existence, don’t let distractions give impression of reason, those are bivouacs, temporary companions not the ones who will hold your hand in sorrow and joy. And for that to happen couples need to find common interests books, sports, travel, kids, work anything which 

Joy of walking is in talking. And that can happen if you can create your conversations together through adventures, experiences, stories, hair-raising tales, roll on the ground anecdotes narrated together.

    

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4 Responses to “keep walking, keep talking”

  1. Gauri October 13, 2009 at 1:56 am #

    i will remember the creating bit. makes sense

  2. sue October 13, 2009 at 10:19 am #

    so finally… I figured out how to comment, or stop being lazy…either one of the two.

    I agree… conversations in that honeymoon phase of a new relationship revolve around each other or their dreams, hopes, likes and dislikes and the other fun stuff.

    and soon enough….it turns into how the boss sent me a rude email, or how the kid puked all over my new saree or how that guy on the road flipped me the finger while driving…. but there is still beauty in it …its conversation, its sharing your day with your loved one and i cant wait to get to that stage either. 🙂

    ps lovely post – just sent the link as a recommended read to my new boyfriend lol

  3. John Doe October 14, 2009 at 7:29 pm #

    lovely.

    however i have friends (you know who) with whom i can have fresh new conversations even after years. some of it, i admit is shared memories or about what was. some however are about what can be.

    even after all these years.

  4. Archana October 26, 2009 at 4:49 pm #

    nice post & very well written…how come you don’t practice this in real life? he he

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