You are a golfer when……. Concluding Part

17 Jun

Contributed by a Golf Buddy

  1. job satisfaction means weekends free for golf and weekdays free for golf research
  2. you convince your wife to take up the game, just so you atleast have a 2-ball
  3. the most important specification in buying a car is the boot size…it has to take your golf set, your golf cart and your friend’s golf set and his golf cart- the words
  4. “The woods are lovely dark and deep, and I have miles to go before I sleep” don’t mean poetry to you, they just mean that you had a very bad slice on your tee-off
  5. your wife stops worrying about you ever having an affair…where’s the time for that?
  6. “Paradise Lost” means your wife insists on joining you for your regular round of golf…henceforth
  7. “Paradise Regained” means she gets pregnant
  8. “Paradise Lost Again” means she is pregnant, but not by you…where was the time for ‘that’?
  9. you judge a man not by the size of his balls but by the brand on his balls
  10. the cost on your golf set and equipment actually turns out to be an investment and not a liability
  11. the only thing you want when stranded on a desert island is your sand wedge…why give up on all that potential practice?
  12. you judge your friends for their easy availability to play golf and for their easy ability to lose always to you
  13. all your vacation spots amazingly always seem to have an attached golf course…damn coincidence, you surely didnt plan it that way!
  14. you instinctively note less than what you achieved and more than what your playing partner achieved, especially when you are the one keeping scores
  15. your handicap is actually your calling card
  16. everything else, including the rotation of the earth, is the cause of your disastrous shot, except your lack of skill
  17. you start giving advice to your caddy on his game
  18. you break 80 eighteen times in a row…till then you are just an intruder on a golf course

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