How do you know you are friends?

26 Dec

Really how do you decide whether someone is an acquintance or a friend? How do you differentiate?

And how do you know which relationship is a matter of convenience and which of choice?

In my case, I know some people for years but I also know they are not my friends (or rather I am not their friend) even though I meet them regularly and enjoy their company.

So this definitely is not a perfect measure.

And there are people I do not meet very often or know them not for very long but consider them friends.

Time is also not a prerequisite.

I have had ‘friends’ with whom I have had lots of arguments and fights (and ego was part of sometimes and in some cases I have not spoken to them since but still remember/consider them as friends) but still survived.

So the concept of “no ego” also doesn’t work.

It is so easy to introduce someone as a friend but when do you honestly mean it?

And when (and how) do you know someone is your friend?

I wonder and seek answers.


6 Responses to “How do you know you are friends?”

  1. Gauri Gharpure December 26, 2007 at 11:48 pm #

    there’s this quote which i like- ‘A friend is the one who knows all abt u yet loves u just the same’ It’s somewht close to wht / who can be called a friend…

    but on the other hand, a perfect measure of announcing someone as ‘friend’ for me is someone whom i like. And i also know perfectly well the distinction when I mean the word, and when i simply thrust the usage ‘friend’ for acquaintance may just sound too rude, at least in our culture..

    also, friend is a very relative term. there r some people whom i mmensely like and respect, and consider them my friends, irrespective (or knowing well) tht i don’t mean the same to them.. friendship is basically tht something tht gives u warmth and strength, reciprocated or not, really doesn’t matter..

  2. Fictitioustruth December 27, 2007 at 9:41 am #

    Appreciate the feedback.But I believe we use lots of platitudes to describe this word. And rarely employ it in the truest sense.

    Below the origin of the word and its meaning-

    Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amcus “friend” and am “I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos “friend” and phile “I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frond, the Old English word for “friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb fron, “to love.” The Germanic root behind this verb is *fr-, which meant “to like, love, be friendly to.” Closely linked to these concepts is that of “peace,” and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, “peaceful ruler,” and Siegfried, “victory peace.” The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, “day of Frigg,” from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris dis, “day of Venus.”

  3. sudip33 December 27, 2007 at 10:57 am #

    i think the its simple the world is divided in 2 categories friends and others.

    and i doubt there are good friends and bad friends or not so good friends. its just either your friend or not.

  4. Idle Thoughts December 27, 2007 at 11:19 am #


    if you take someone for granted, chances are, he or she is a friend.

  5. featherbone January 1, 2008 at 10:32 am #

    i married my best friend. no confusion that way. unless, of course, you have lotsa best friends.

  6. Red January 2, 2008 at 1:58 pm #

    perhaps its best not to introduce a person as ‘your’ friend, for that arrogates that person’s identity via you.

    perhaps its best to introduce a person by their own name and their own identity.

    for the rest of the time, when we talk of a friend, we talk of someone who is useful to us in some way..some ‘friends’ are good to talk to, some ‘friends’ listen to our problems, some ‘friends’ help us in our time of need, some ‘friends’ participate in things we like….

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