Don’t cry for me Delhi

14 Dec

I left Delhi some three years back. And I have some fond memories of the place.

Once in a while I think about shifting back to the place but these bouts of insanity are cured thanks to some timely meeting with a Delhite (when I say Delhite, pls read archtype North Indian).

Lets count the habits which would ensure that I stay away from the place as far as possible. And do I pray for the day when habitation on other planets would be a possibility.

1. The overbearing habit of over-familarity. The first meeting will start from”I have shared your underwear” relationship. Hey, I am meeting you for the first time, we are not lost buddies and lets keep it that way. And i do not share my underwear with anyone in any case.

2. And if best buddy syndrome was not bad enough, god forbid, if the gentleman you are meeting belongs to the same state, or has just transited through the city you belong, that would make him your bonafide relative. Dude, even by the highest ratio of the improbable probability if i had met you earlier, chances are i would have ignored you there also, if not kicked your butt out of the stratosphere.

3. “I am the undisputed lord of the universe”. Me lord, you job is at the lowest end of the corporate food chain. My best wishes are with you, but till you become what you are not, I would prefer you behave and stay like a minion that you truly are.

4. They would end professional meetings not with a handshake but with a hug, and if you are not quick in your reflexes, you might get treated witha slobbering kiss also. Stay away from me you sex depraved pervert.

I can probably continue but I really need to go and take a bath.

Om Shanti Om.

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7 Responses to “Don’t cry for me Delhi”

  1. Manoj December 14, 2007 at 7:15 am #

    Another reason to stay away. Kids shooting classmates. Wonder how many parents would be comfortable sending their children to school in Delhi.
    Soon we’ll kids being passed through X ray screening at the school gate.

  2. Sue December 14, 2007 at 8:02 am #

    lol

    I lived (suffered for most of it) in Delhi for 12 years of my life…Your post is all too familiar 🙂

    Reason # 5
    When a Delhiite (I mean some north indian ones)see a south indian, out come the terms ‘madrasi’ or worse – ‘idli’/’sambar’. Can some one enlighten them ? Everything below Madhya Pradesh is not Madras and our menu is ten times more creative that just idli or sambar.

  3. Red December 14, 2007 at 8:54 am #

    Aint we doing the same what they do to us? clubbing everyone under a classification, be it “Madrasi” or “Delhite” and attributing the same characteristics to all the individuals under that “classification”….as humans, especially as humans, perhaps we have the gift of being purely individual..

    I am Red. I chose that description for me. Because it is me. I have my own characteristics, some common, some unique..but I am I, none else.

    everything else you call me or term me is below that .. insignificant …whether that tag is South Indian, Delhite, Indian, Pakistani, American, Hindu, Muslim, Man, Woman, MBA, Worker, Caste, Class…

  4. Idle Thoughts December 14, 2007 at 9:36 am #

    delhi still has karim’s and its famous burra kababs. go fuck yourself the-rest-of-the-world.

  5. Idle Thoughts December 14, 2007 at 3:08 pm #

    on a more serious note – I prefer Delhi to all the other metros I have seen. here be barbarians. but at least they don’t pretend to be civilised.

    i have realised that every other city in india is full of ‘delhites’ pretending to be somthing else.

  6. Idle Thoughts December 14, 2007 at 3:29 pm #

    and another thing, you do sound so like a bengali i used to know.

  7. Fictitioustruth December 14, 2007 at 5:03 pm #

    Hey, are we still allowed to have personal opinions?

    Which in turn are based on personal experiences and ignorance.

    And idle thoughts either you take your insult back or I’ll have to kill you.

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